Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
