i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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