3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
