I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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