wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
