I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
