Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
