i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
third nipple confirmed
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize