Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
