i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
