You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
