Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
