White coat. Heels.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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