Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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