my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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