I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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