how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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