Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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