I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
