omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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