There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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