Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
