Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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