I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize