how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
