And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
