Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
