I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
