i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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