Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
