I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
