Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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