suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Are my feet made of real feet?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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