The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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