everyone is single if you try hard enough
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
