the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
