We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
