That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize