I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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