i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
