Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
