Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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