planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
