ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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