Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
