so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
