Having a random hookup so left but love u
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
