We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
