He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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