She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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