shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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