i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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