So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
