I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
