Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
