I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize