In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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